


And Bring Me Home At Last

by Talvenhenki



Category: Star Trek: Picard
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Hugh | Third of Five Lives, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapping, Not Really Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:29:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24900853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talvenhenki/pseuds/Talvenhenki
Summary: On the surface of a desert planet, Agnes Jurati's scorched corpse is discovered. Meanwhile the doctor herself is trying to find a way to escape the Romulan agents that kidnapped her.Jul. 6th - added an epilogue!
Relationships: Agnes Jurati/Cristóbal Rios, Raffi Musiker/Seven of Nine
Comments: 28
Kudos: 26





	1. A Death

**Author's Note:**

> I got the idea for this from a dream, as per usual. Name is from Journey to the Past from the 20th Century Fox film Anastasia

The smell of burnt flesh was something Cristóbal would never forget. The corpse was in multiple pieces; the planet’s transportation system relied largely on automated trains which did not recognise the sensation of running over someone. On deserts, like the one Cristóbal and the rest of _La Sirena_ crew currently stood on, there were no inhabitants for miles and the accidents would remain unnoticed for a while. Cristóbal felt bile rising into his mouth at the thought of trains running over the corpse until there would only be charred dust.

“Are you sure this is the spot where we lost her signal?” Picard asked, frustrated at not being able to do a thing. “Is there any chance this is not her?”

“I’m sure”, Seven answered, at a loss for words herself. “If we were to reconstruct the body…she would be exactly the same size and build. It’s got to be her. There’s no other possibility.”

Agnes Jurati was dead.

Cristóbal’s knees buckled, and it was only by luck that Hugh managed to catch him on time. He was shaking all over; the shock had finally set in. His mind was desperately trying to shield him from the sudden loss of the woman he’d loved – the one who’d helped him to believe in love once again.

“Ian, I think we’ve seen enough here”, Raffi said into her comm link, “seven to beam up.”

Cristóbal wished, against all odds, that his body would dissolve for good during the beam back up. He wanted to join Agnes in the nothingness, to not feel like his heart was being torn in two. Were he a stronger man, he would shed tears, cry out the pain, and then learn to live in a world without Agnes Jurati. But Cristóbal was not strong, not in that way. He usually wanted to hurt, to remember he exists, so he’d forgotten how to let out the excess pain.

As they materialised, Cristóbal noticed Elnor crying. Soji looked crushed as well – it was no wonder; they were just children in the end. Cristóbal walked over to them and collected them into an embrace, hoping it to be the parental sign of affection and comfort they needed.

“So, it’s true then?” Emil asked. Cristóbal hadn’t noticed the holograms standing around the transporter pad and was startled by Emil’s question. “Agnes is truly gone?”

“Yes”, Picard said simply. He wasn’t one to show much emotion, but anyone could see his melancholy over losing her. “Her body was burnt and run over by the cargo trains they use down there. We’ve lost our doctor.”

Silence fell onto the ship. No one quite knew how to respond to the death of Agnes, who had killed one man and brought another back to life. Somehow they’d all expected her to be larger than life, a person who could outwit death.

Cristóbal let go of Elnor and Soji and made his way into the privacy of his own room. He only barely noticed Raffi following him closely and sneaking inside before the door slid shut.

“Don’t shut us out, Chris”, Raffi whispered, “not this time. I’ll get you through this and so will the others.”

Cristóbal looked up at Raffi, not finding any words to answer with. His eyes stung and his throat was dry, too dry. He _needed_ to do something, to grab something, maybe break something, just not feel so _wrong_. He grabbed Agnes’ polaroid camera and was about to throw it at the wall when Raffi stopped him.

“No”, she breathed, “it’s a memory of her. You’ll need it. Don’t destroy it.”

Cristóbal fell onto his knees and screamed. Raffi winced, both at the loud sound and at the emotion in Cristóbal’s voice. Cristóbal was in pain, in terrible pain, and Raffi could barely hold him together as he suffered through the worst wave of the grief. She knelt down and held him as he gasped against the enormous lump in his throat.

“I’ve lost her, Raf”, he whispered hoarsely. “She was my sunshine and I lost her because I didn’t beam down with her, because I didn’t think that desert planet was interesting enough for me. I’ve as good as killed, her, Raf!”

“No, babe, you didn’t kill her”, Raffi said, rocking Cristóbal from side to side. “What happened down there was a terrible accident, but it was in no way your fault. You didn’t kill Agnes, honey. It was something on that planet that did it, not you.”

Cristóbal shook his head and his face crumbled. Raffi hushed him and rocked him as he sobbed, occasionally managing to brokenly whimper out Agnes’ name. For a few times he reached out to something, but only darkness would meet his hand. When his cries eventually died down, he could only lean onto Raffi whose touch was anchoring him into the moment.

“How about we get you onto the bed?” Raffi asked softly. “You could really use some rest. I can stay here with you – we can listen to some music – but you really need to rest. Maybe have some water too.”

Cristóbal nodded and allowed Raffi to help him climb onto the bed and to spread the blanket over him. He wouldn’t close his eyes, wouldn’t have nightmares again, and grabbed Raffi’s hand for comfort.

“Stay?” he asked. “Just for a bit? I don’t want to sleep now.”

“Sure”, Raffi said and sat on the edge on Cristóbal’s bed.

* * *

In the cellar of a desert house made of clay, sat Agnes Jurati. She was chained into the wall, stared down by a few Romulans – Zhat Vash agents, Agnes presumed – but she wouldn’t buckle. If she was good at something, it was not telling her captors what she knew. The Zhat Vash were vicious, sure, but they were not Vulcans and that was where they failed. They had no telepathic powers that they could use to break Agnes’ mind. _Ha! That’s what you get for not bringing Commodore Oh with you_ , Agnes thought.

The Romulans spoke for a bit and then one of them slapped Agnes across the cheek. She spat out blood and glared at the agent who had slapped her like he was merely a nuisance. It apparently angered him, as he kicked her stomach, making her cough.

“What? Are you mad because you’re not getting me to talk?” Agnes asked, trying to sound as annoying as possible.

“Oh, we _will_ get you to talk”, a female agent said, “but we’ll have a bit of fun before that. How else would having captured you be worth it?”

Dread set in Agnes’s stomach but she was determined to not let it show. The Romulans stayed for a bit but left eventually, possibly bored by her lack of response. After a moment of no one re-entering the room, Agnes got to work.

Agnes had worn a headscarf to the planet and kept the whole thing together with a brooch that the Romulans had not taken away from her. Only her comm link and phaser had been seized, but she was quite certain she could make a new one from scratch. Agnes unstrapped her brooch and used it to pick the locks on the chains – who knew Romulans were so old school?

Eventually the locks buckled, and Agnes was free. She dashed to the barrels at the other side of the room for cover for the time it would take for her to come up with a plan.


	2. A Discovery

Raffi was sitting at the navigation seat at the bridge, having tea. _La Sirena_ was still orbiting the desert planet as no one had wanted to leave the memory of Agnes behind just yet. Ian was manning the communications, tinkering as he sat there. It was an unspoken agreement to support each other during the difficult time. They didn’t voice it, but both of them missed Agnes dearly.

“What are you building there?” Raffi asked. Her cup was almost empty, and she desperately needed a distraction.

“A miniature shuttle”, Ian said, “to send it to the stars later. I wanted to make something for the lassie. She deserved better than what she got and, to be honest, I already miss her terribly.”

Ian was chattier than ever and speaking clearer than Raffi had heard before. As a testament to his grief, his holomatrix flickered and he closed his eyes, rubbing them. Raffi had had no idea that holograms did that as well.

“Do you think I could replicate some flowers to put in it for her?”

Raffi and Ian turned around and saw Seven standing behind them. She was wearing a tracksuit and looked exhausted – had she tried to drown her sorrow in sports? After a moment, Ian nodded carefully.

“Aye”, he muttered, tilting his head, “I think she would like it. Especially if you replicate orchids; those were her favourite flowers.”

“I hate talking about her in past tense”, Raffi said and shook her head. “I mean, I know that she’s gone, but it feels like trapping her in the past forever. I’m not ready to do that, not yet. She always made us happier by being the fun member of the crew. I’m not ready to lose her sunny attitude.”

“Me neither, Raf”, Seven said, wrapping her arms around Raffi’s shoulders. “I think the kids should be present when the shuttle is launched. They need closure more than we do. How much death have they truly experienced?”

“Too much”, Raffi mumbled, “too much, and yet, it probably hasn’t been enough to teach them how to deal with it.”

Seven and Ian nodded. They wished they could live in a kinder world, in a world where Agnes Jurati still lived and made everyone smile by being herself. They wished that Elnor and Soji could have had peaceful childhoods and some friends their own age. They wished that they lived in a world where Captain Rios wasn’t constantly losing people he cared about.

“Let’s not launch the shuttle just yet”, Seven said, still holding close to Raffi, “I think all of us should be present while we do it. We could all say some words for Agnes to honour her memory.”

Raffi nodded, rubbing her eyes. There was a lump the size of an asteroid in her throat. Agnes had been like family to her, after the initial distrust. She’d been like a lost niece who just wanted to feel safe next to someone who’d seen more of the world. God, she already missed Agnes so much.

“Aye”, Ian agreed, nodding his head. “It would be good closure for all of us. The captain probably needs it more than we do.”

* * *

Agnes was grunting. She had managed to get out from the clay house she had been held in, and hide in another one, which she hoped was uninhabited. She had gathered some electronic devices during her daring escape and was using them to assemble a makeshift comm link. She hoped, against all odds, that _La Sirena_ hadn’t left yet. If the others had left, Agnes wouldn’t make it out of the planet, no way. _La Sirena_ was her only chance.

“Don’t let the scary Romulans find you”, Agnes said in a sing-song voice. “I’ve got a disruptor and I ain’t afraid to shoot, but I better be off this planet pretty damn soon. This would make for a pretty good nursery rhyme.”

The makeshift comm link was ready soon enough, but Agnes still needed to adjust it to the subspace frequency used by _La Sirena_ , which was no easy feat. Oh, why hadn’t Ian made it easier for her? Agnes slowly tried all the frequencies until she found the one that she was looking for.

“Okay”, she said and took a steadying breath, “Agnes to _La Sirena_ , do you copy? _La Sirena_ , do you copy? It’s Agnes.”

When she heard no answer, she shook her head, adjusted the comm link again, and reopened the channel. She wouldn’t give up so easily; she was Agnes P. Jurati, the woman who could bring back the dead, after all.

“ _La Sirena_ , do you copy?”

* * *

The communications station beeped, startling Raffi, Ian, and Seven. Someone was hailing them from the surface of the desert planet. From the desert planet that had no warp capabilities, let alone subspace communication. The three shared a look, and Raffi opened a channel.

“La Sirena, _this is Agnes. Do you copy?_ ”

Raffi’s eyes widened and she let out a teary laugh. Seven had frozen in shock, unable to comprehend that Agnes was alive after all that they’d seen. It was like a miniature miracle come true. Agnes’ voice was distorted by the comm link, but it was unmistakably her.

“Aye, lassie”, Ian said, “we copy. Where are you?”

“ _I’m in a clay house. I was kidnapped and my comm link was taken from me; I’m about a mile Northeast from it. I’ve placed a red sheet on top of the roof of this clay house. Please hurry and beam me up! I don’t know if my kidnappers have noticed I’m gone._ ”

“I’ve found her”, Seven said, working at the navigation station with Raffi. “Just give me a moment to get a lock on her!”

“We’ll get you out of there soon, sweetie”, Raffi said, “just hang in there, Agnes.”

“Someone should be at the transporter pad to greet her”, Ian said as he worked at the transporter controls, “maybe you should go, Miss Musiker?”

Raffi nodded and moved to the back of the ship. She was anxious to see Agnes again, to make sure she was well after all.

“Agnes, are you ready?” Seven asked. “I’ve got a lock on you.”

“ _Yes. Yes! One to beam up, please._ ”

The transporter flickered and soon Agnes materialised in front of Raffi, who gasped in joy at seeing Agnes alive again. Agnes smiled wearily and was about to step off the transporter pad when her knees buckled, and she fell forwards.

Raffi caught Agnes as she lost her consciousness.


	3. Home, Love, Family

“Place her on the biobed! She’s got some internal damage that needs to be repaired. _Now!_ ”

“Should we inform the captain? Is she stable enough?”

“Oh, _Agnes_. What did they do to you?”

“She’s crashing! _She’s crashing!_ ”

* * *

When Agnes opened her eyes, the first person she saw was Hugh. He was sitting at her bedside, reading something on a padd. He smiled at her as he noticed her awake. He turned off the padd and took her hand.

“How are you feeling?” he asked softly. “You gave us quite the fright back there. At first, we thought you were dead, and then you almost were. We still haven’t informed Captain Rios that you’re alive and on your way to recovery. You see, he took your death very hard.”

Agnes’ heart skipped a beat. Cristóbal had probably blamed himself because he always does. He would always think he should have been able to prevent any death or accident that ever happened. He was always so kind and took any possible loss extremely personally. She sat up and tried to get off the biobed.

“I need to see him”, she said, grunting. “I need to tell him I’m alive. Can’t have him suffering.”

At that exact moment, Emil materialised next to Agnes and said, “You are not going anywhere with those bruises. Now stand there and let me repair what the biobed didn’t manage to do already. We’ll inform the captain as well as the others.”

They decided Hugh would go inform the others that Agnes was alive and well enough to see them. Emil was running scans on her and using the internal tissue regenerator to fix whatever the Romulans had done to her. Every few moments he would shake his head and mutter something unintelligible, most likely cursing what Agnes had had to go through.

Soon, the door to the sickbay slid open, revealing Cristóbal behind it. His eyes were red and puffy and his breath erratic. He made a wounded noise at the back of his throat – which sounded a lot like _Agnes_ – rushed to Agnes, gathering her into an embrace, sat down on a chair and pulled Agnes onto his lap, pressed his face on Agnes’ shoulder, and begun to cry.

“Hey”, Agnes whispered hoarsely, “I’m here, Cris. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”

Agnes combed her fingers through Cristóbal’s hair. He was gasping for breath between his sobs that wracked violently through his body. She hated to see him in pain like that, knowing that it could have been preventable. She kissed the top of his head and rested her cheek against it.

“I’m sorry you had to experience my death”, Agnes said softly, “although I did not die. You deserve so much better than that.”

Cristóbal looked up at Agnes, tears still streaming down his face, and shook his head. He then kissed her and rested his forehead against hers. Agnes could taste his tears, and smoke from a cigar. He had had another anxiety attack because of Agnes’ apparent death.

“Oh, Cris”, Agnes whispered as she cupped his cheeks. He was still sobbing, and Agnes decided to massage his shoulders to rid them of extra tension.

“I saw the mutilated corpse”, Cristóbal breathed, “I saw how it had been burnt and how the trains had run it over. We were all sure it was _you_. I thought I’d lost you and I couldn’t bear it. I just couldn’t. I don’t want to live in a world without you, Ags.”

“You don’t have to”, Agnes whispered, rocking Cristóbal from side to side. “You don’t have to.”

Cristóbal cupped Agnes’ cheeks and took a long look at her. He blinked the tears away from his eyes and smiled at her like she would be some sort of a miracle. He then kissed her again, this time slower and softer than the first kiss had been. He didn’t stop even when the door slid open again, revealing Raffi and Seven, as well as Elnor and Soji.

“This is a miracle!” Elnor announced, as per the requirements of The Way of Absolute Candour. Agnes couldn’t help but giggle, because no one had ever called her a miracle, at least not with honesty.

“What happened?” Soji asked, having crossed the distance between herself and Agnes and hugged her and Cristóbal. “We saw a charred corpse that fit your description, and with the technology we have…we were sure it was you.”

“Romulans”, Agnes explained, after pulling away from the kiss, “they kidnapped me. They probably also staged my death. I think they were trying to get some information out of me, possibly about the weaknesses of Coppelius. As if I’d tell them anything.”

Cristóbal’s eyes hardened. He was angry – no, furious – at the Romulans who had hurt Agnes. She didn’t deserve any of that. Commodore Oh had already broken her and now the Romulans had dared to lay their hands on her again? They were lucky that he was more concerned about Agnes’ wellbeing than his own personal revenge against them because if the tables were turned…well, suffice to say, the Romulans would be never heard of again.

“Well, the good thing is, you’re back here with us”, Seven said, squeezing Agnes’ shoulder. “The ship would be quite empty without you.”

“Don’t you ever do that to us again, young lady”, Raffi said, “I’m not ready to lose someone so close to me so soon after the events of Coppelius. Not to mention what it would do to Chris to lose you again.”

“I’ll try not to”, Agnes said, smiling mischievously.

Later, when the group left the sickbay, Agnes was ambushed by a group hug given by Enoch and Emmett. Emmett was cursing the Romulans with all the colourful words he knew, while Enoch was making sure Agnes was feeling good enough to warrant standing around like that. Then there was Ian who handed Agnes a nice sweater he’d somehow managed to knit for her while she’d been unconscious. The last was Steward who had replicated an extra pillow for Agnes, as well as some nice shower gel that was supposed to fix scars and bruises faster.

“Thank you, guys”, Agnes said, holding the unexpected presents. “This means a lot to me.”

“Just never do that to us again, _angelita_ ”, Emmett said. “This ship wouldn’t be the same without you.”

Agnes blushed and giggled. Yes. _La Sirena_ and the people aboard her were Agnes’ home and she would have it no other way. She loved them all dearly and would do anything to keep them safe, even if it meant outwitting some Romulan agents.

Later, during the night, Cristóbal guarded Agnes’ sleep and listened to the rhythm of her heartbeats.


	4. Epilogue - Someone Holds Me Safe And Warm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little epilogue I wanted to write because I needed some fluff after catching yet another flu!

“Are you sure you’re comfortable that way? You don’t need any more pillows?”

“Cris, sweetie, I’m _fine_. Emil made sure I’d be mostly comfortable by the time I go to sleep.”

“A blanket, then? At least let me get you a pair of those woollen socks Enoch has been knitting.”

Agnes sighed and shook her head, fondly. It was usually other way around, with her making sure he was feeling comfortable, so it was nice to have Cristóbal fuss around a little. He was a little dishevelled and it looked absolutely adorable. He was holding two pillows – which Agnes had declined to having – and sort of grinning sheepishly. Agnes realised that the sheepish grinning really made him look good.

“Socks would be nice”, she said, smiling softly at Cristóbal. He went on to rummage through some drawers while Agnes looked at him from where she was sitting on the bed. She was grateful for his fussing, for even being _alive_.

“So, I found two socks, but they’re mismatched”, Cris said and held up two socks. One was entirely black, with decorative braids, and the other was bright green with some red highlights. Agnes giggled and nodded her approval.

“Those are cute”, she said.

Cristóbal sat down on the bed and pulled the socks on Agnes’ bare feet. She wiggled her toes and grinned at Cristóbal who pulled her into his arms. He placed his jaw on top of her head and sighed.

“I’m glad you’re here”, he whispered, leaving the _I’m glad you’re even alive_ unsaid. “I’m glad I can still hold you like this. I – what I’m trying to say is ‘thanks for coming back to me’, I guess.”

Agnes smiled and rubbed some warmth into Cristóbal’s shoulder. She was very grateful for his words, for not leaving the orbit immediately after finding the scorched body. “I’m glad to be back”, she said softly, “and to be held like this. I feel safe with you.”

Cristóbal kissed Agnes’ temple and blinked his eyes. He was glad that she hadn’t seen his initial breakdown over her supposed death – it had been far more violent he had ever thought himself capable of feeling. There was still some of that grief in his chest, as if some part of him wouldn’t quite believe that she was back with him.

“I’m glad”, he whispered, “that this is the reality and not a dream I’m having. You mean a lot to me. A lot more than I’d thought possible after Vandermeer and ibn Mājid.”

Agnes wrapped her arms around Cristóbal’s torso. It wasn’t like him to be so vulnerable around others, but she’d seen his breakdown after finding her alive. She’d heard the heart-wrenching sobs she’d never expected to hear from anyone, least of all from him.

“I’m not going anywhere”, she promised quietly. She was rubbing Cristóbal’s back, letting the tension out of him.

“I know”, he whispered, “I know, Ags.”

Cristóbal lay down, pulling Agnes onto his chest. For some time, they were quiet, Agnes listening to Cristóbal’s heartbeats. It felt tranquil, just existing in each other’s space, making no noise whatsoever. Agnes felt truly safe with him, knowing that _La Sirena_ and its holograms would do anything to keep her that way.

“I don’t really feel like sleeping yet”, Agnes muttered after a while. Looking up at Cristóbal, she asked, “do you have any stories to tell me?”

Cristóbal smiled and kissed Agnes’ hair. Trust Agnes to almost die and then ask Cristóbal to tell her a story. As if her own adventure hadn’t been enough.

“Well, I used to know this kid”, he said. His voice sounded deep to Agnes whose ear was planted against his chest, right on top of his left lung. “Their name was Petya; we still stay in touch every now and then. They were a linguistics officer on _ibn Mājid_ – probably the youngest and the brightest I’d ever met. They kind of adopted me as their older brother because they had very few friends and almost no family. I guess I liked it, in a way, having my own little shadow. Vandermeer always joked that this kid could talk to anything, even tribbles.”

Agnes laughed. She remembered the linguists from her Academy years, and she could easily imagine some of them trying to communicate with tribbles.

“No, if anyone could do that, it would be Petya”, Cristóbal said, smiling fondly to the memory. “They’re not in Starfleet anymore; they moved to Copenhagen to work with new kind of voice-to-text software for deaf people and to better the old universal translators. They’re the reason why I have so many mermaid things in this room. _La Sirena_ became an inside joke between us when I got her.”

Agnes smiled. “I hope I can meet this Petya one day”, she mumbled. “They sound terrific.”

“We should invite them over the next time we’re on Earth”, Cristóbal agreed, “Raffi and the kids would love them. Elnor especially; I don’t think he gets to speak enough Romulan here.”

Agnes nodded in silent agreement. It was probably hard for Elnor to communicate in a language that wasn’t his – she hadn’t even thought of how lonely it could be. At Daystrom she had always been speaking in English; her Japanese was mediocre at best.

“It would be nice to give him a chance to speak his own language for once”, she said.

Cristóbal hummed. “He’ll probably declare himself very happy if you say that to him. After all, you already gave him a cat.”

“Hey!” Agnes giggled as Cristóbal kissed her hair again. “I didn’t _give_ Spot II to Elnor. I smuggled him in because he was lonely on Coppelius. That’s _completely_ different.”

Cristóbal smiled. “Of course, you’re absolutely right”, he said. He noticed Agnes shivering from the cool air, so he pulled the blanket over her shoulders, making her sigh contently.

“I really am glad that I got back home safe and sound”, she breathed.

“Home?” Cristóbal asked. “I thought your home was on Earth?”

“No.” Agnes shook her head. “It’s with you.”

With that, Cristóbal’s heart soared.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments will be loved and cherished!


End file.
